Raphael Shirley's "flames of passion" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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For a second there is silence. Menace. The father strokes his head and makes a gesture to his fearful wife. She takes out a revolver aims it up her vagina and fills the room with blood and panic. The son and daughter scramble for the door but the father grabs each of them by the foot and lifts them so there heads fall at the height of his loins. He releases the son who incurs serious brain damage and begins to fit. The father, "Rupert", Kicks the son into the mother's gaping vagina. The fitting of the son begins to arouse the mother and she starts to chant: "Fucking adopted son, fitting in my cunt". The father who has now unzipped his fly and removed his erect penis forces into his daughters mouth until she gags. At this point he sticks a knife in her eye causing her to involuntarily bite his penis off. There is a phenomenal gush of blood and he falls to his knees. After much effort he stands and drenches the heap of his family in petrol. The agent's cigar falls to floor and the family is ablaze.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"