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HornDawg's "Michael J. Fox, emasculation and so much more" Aristocrats Joke

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

The father sticks a giant fishhook in the mother's mouth, attaches it to a rope, tosses the rope over a rafter, lifts her clear of the ground and secures the rope with a clove hitch. He pulls a box cutter from his back pocket and shoves it in his wife's vagina, then slits her open all the way up to her throat. He yanks out her intestines and hands them to the son, then uses the same box cutter to emasculate himself. The rich arterial blood from his cock sprays all over the agent, leaving it limp. He blows into it like a balloon and secures the end with a rubber band so it stays erect, then shoves it up his wife's ass, sticks his whole head into her empty abdomen and starts sucking his own cock where it pokes through. His balls plop out onto the floor and the dog immediately starts eating them.

Meanwhile, the son whips out his cock and starts fucking the daughter while squeezing the shit out of his mother's intestines and into her open mouth like a pastry bag. The dog finishes eating the father's balls, then jumps up and starts humping his leg like crazy. After a few seconds the dog starts to ejaculate, so he lifts it up to his dead wife's mouth to catch all of it. He quickly returns to sucking his own inflated cock while dog semen drips out of her esophagus and onto his head.

When the son is ready to ejaculate himself, he pulls the other end of the intestines over his cock to catch it, then squeezes that, along with whatever barely digested food is left in his mother's intestine, into his sister's mouth. She vomits, and as punishment he douses her in gasoline and sets her ablaze. She screams in agony while her puke-covered body burns, sending a pillar of flame up into the ceiling. It burns through the rope holding up the mother and she falls, leaving the father standing there with his balloon cock hanging out of his mouth.

The son positions himself behind the father and starts fucking him in the ass while the dog shoves its nose into the bloody hole where the father's genitals were and gnaws at the stringy bits of meat. The father starts asking the son trivia questions about Michael J. Fox.

After a few minutes, the daughter's body is a pile of bones and ash. Working as a team, the father and son fashion her bones into a cage. All the while they are sodomizing each other, though the father has trouble getting the rubber band to stay on his cock so the air escapes. When the cage is complete, they throw the dog in and feed it what remains of the mother. The dog shits it right out after a few minutes and the father and son smear themselves in fresh feces, doing the old soft shoe in perfect unison to the Flat Foot Floogie. Finally, they lick each other clean, drop to their knees and go, "Ta-da!"

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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