Tylr Wagner's "Dont forget the cumquats..." Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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So this man and woman walk into a talent directorís office. They sit down, and the man says "Have I got an act for you! This one is guaranteed to make millions. It will be a hit, everyone will love it: men and women of all ages, grandmaís and grandpaís, rabbiís and priests, politicians and lawyers. I tell ya its gonna be a hit!" The talent director pauses for a second, overwhelmed by the energy and enthusiasm coming from this gentleman. "Well," he says "tell me about it. If I think it is a winner, we will talk business." "First off me and my wife, Geraldine walk on stage together," the man starts out by saying, "My wife is carrying a basket of flowers and Iíve got my fishing pole in hand." "But wait," the wife interrupts, "Iíve also got a picnic basket in my other hand. You canít forget about that, that really comes in handy later." "Oh yea, oh yea. Well, we walk to the front of the stage and we each put our stuff down. Then my wife kneels in front of me, unzips my pants, and pulls my cock out. She immediately, and with great gusto I might add, starts sucking by cock like a Jew in Auschwitz on a piece of steak. Boy is she going at it!. Then, out daughter comes out on stage and stands behind my wife. By the way, my daughter, only 10 years old, but is already made her pimp over $50,000 in life time earnings! Can you believe that. She is a real capitalist! Anyways, she lifts up my wifes skirt and starts giving her a rimjob, you know running her tongue around the asshole. I mean sure, she licks her pussy a little bit too, but for the most part it is a rimjob. "So then my son comes out and starts doing the same to me. Meanwhile," "Hold your horses honey, donít forget about the cumquats! My daughter, bless her heart, this was her idea. She takes some cumquats out of the picnic basket and starts ramming them up my coochie. Now, you might be concerned about the sanitary implications of this part of the act and the Food, Health and Safety board getting involved but we have cleared everything with them. So, she can fit about seven or eight up there. And meanwhile, as I am blowing my husband, she continues to rim my asshole. And, granted this might sound a little bit boring at first, but it really builds up to a nice climax, so to speak" "Yea" the husband starts in again, "so my daughter is rimming my wife, who has her coochie stuffed full of cumquats, and our son is riming me. This is where the stage is set, but then my mother comes out on the stage in her wheel chair, I mean, she is 92 mind you. And sheís got a set of cymbals in her hands. And, BANG she crashes them together. Now we switch positions. My daughter gets in front of me and continues the hellacious blowjob Iíve been getting. My wife turns around, lays with her back on the ground, head towards me and grabs her ankles. My son, goes and positions himself on his knees in front of my wife. Now this part of the act is where timing is absolutely crucial. About 2 minutes after we get in this new position, I pull out of my daughters mouth, and all at the same time, I shoot my first load of cum on her face, my mothers crashes the cymbals and my wife shoots a cumquat out of her mouth into my sons mouth. Assuming he catches it of course, but weíve got our accuracy rate up to 93%. Then, AGAIN ALL AT ONCE, but with my mother determining the pace with her cymbal crashing, the cymbal sounds, I cum on my daughters face, and my wife shoots a cumquat into our sons mouth. We do this until my wife is out of cumquats, then we all stand up, take a bow and walk off the stage. So, what do ya think? Itís a winner ainít it" "Ahhhh, well. Often times with acts like these the title, or name of the act can really make it or break it. What do you call yourself?" "THE ARISTOCRATS!"
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"