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John McGarry's "Granny's white pubes were ripped off" Aristocrats Joke

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

First the kids walk out on stage, dressed in formal-wear. They're singing thier rendition of twinkle twinkle little star. when the song is over, my son drops his pants and pisses in his little sisters mouth. after gargling and swallowing half of the urine in her mouth...she blows it out of her nose...as if it were milk while someone is laughing. she can do this on cue, very talented little girl. so she blows the boys piss out of her nose back into the mouth of her little brother. he gargles, and spits the boogered piss into a bucket, which is center stage.

then my wife and i walk out on stage with cholorform-soaked hankies, and put them over the childrens' mouths and noses. after they pass out, we strip them completely naked and tie thier bodies to 2 big logs of wood. we then call the dog, scruffy, out on stage, where he proceeds to piss and shit on the children. my wife...sees the dog piss and shit on the motionless children, so she gets aroused. she takes a whip out, which she had hidden up her vagina. she cracks me in the face with the whip and demands that i go down on her. she lifts the flowing night gown and i perform oral sex on her. im pretty good at that, so her clit pops out relatively early in the act. i bite that off and spit it into the bucket still at center stage. i then bend my wife over a stool next to the bucket, and start fucking her in the ass. in the meantime, grandma comes out, picks up the whip, and starts whipping my ass. no one hits like mom! when it comes time to release my baby batter...i do so half in grandma's eye, half in the bucket. grandpa comes out without his pants off, and starts fucking my 9 yr old daughter. hes REALLY laying into her. while fucking her, he starts punching her in the eye, over and over again. she starts to come out of her temporary coma, induced by the chloroform. now she covered in dog shit and dog piss, and he eye is bleeding. i go over, turn my son's log over, so i can start ass fucking my 6 yr old son. he starts bleeding from the anus, cuz i have a big cock, and my son hasnt had ENOUGH practice at being penetrated. he starts coming to, and as he does, i elbow him in the nose repeatedly so he bleeds from the nose as well. we shuffle the kids and the logs they are tied to over to the buket, where they bleed out of almost every oraphis into the bucket. THENmy wife goes down on grandma, then proceeds to rip her old white pubes out with her teeth. she spits the pubes, and a few mouth full's of blood in the bucket. this thing is really filling up. my wife then lays on her back, and grandma squats and shits in my wife's mouth. and this is old person shit, extra nasty. after chewing a bit, she gets off her back and spits grandmas shit in the bucket.

Let's not forget about the dog. as the children cry out for help, the dog runs out. not for their rescue, however. the dog starts fucking the girl, and i come over and start fucking the dog in the ass, and instruct my son to lick my asshole. my wife gives grandpa a reach-around while grandma jacks it using the stool as a dildo. this part of the show ends with loud music as everyone climaxs' and ejacualtes into the audience. Then, as we're walking off the stage, we all stop and take a shit in the bucket. Jamal, enters the empty stage with a mop, a broom and a dust pan and starts cleaning everything up. when he gets to the bucket, he proclaims aloud "what the fuck do i do with this shit?!" and grandma come back out on stage and says "thats your dinner, nigga!"

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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