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mike perry's "You should have seen the act with grandma alive!" Aristocrats Joke

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

So the man starts, "My wife and I go out to center stage. We're both dressed nice, but she's visibly pregnant with what appears to be a twelve year old in her. She removes my pants and begins to give me fellatio right on stage. Then, when I'm getting close to blowing my load on her face, she yells, 'I think I'm going into labor!'. No one is surprised by this development, because like I said, it looks like she's pregnant with a 12 year old. The reason is, my twelve year old son will crawl into her uterus, through the vaginal opening each night before the show. She'll pull off her dress and my son's head will start crowning. He actually delivers himself, cutting his own umbilical cord (which we make out of some rubber tubing). Now, we used to have his grandmother deliver him, then give him a blowjob after he came out, but unfortunately grandma passed a way a couple of months ago, so we just have him deliver himself, and we prop grandma's corpse up over a chair and he fucks her ass after he cuts his cord. Grandma is decomposing at a good pace though...she still has her tits, but her ass has loosend up enough that he doesn't have to use lube anymore.
Since my wife has just given birth to a 12 year old, she's usually torn pretty badly, so I start suchering her up while her vagina is squirting blood into the first three rows of the audience like watermelon at a Ghallegor show. My son finishes fucking his grandma's ass about that same time, so we introduce grandpa to tha audience and ask for a female volunteer, invite her onstage and strap her to a table. Since grandma passed away, there is only one thing that makes grandpa happy...female circumcision. He's the best at it too. He can slice just enough off to keep her from bleeding too badly (although I have my sutures ready just in case), but still make sex unenjoyable for her forever.
Now, I know what you're thinking...'Doesn't this guy have a daughter and why isn't she giving her brother a rim job during this?' Well, I do have a daughter, but we have her busy backstage lubing up her dog and eating chocolate pudding. She usually can eat 10-12 lbs. of pudding before the show each night. For the finale, we have her come out with her greased up puppy (it's just a little tiny dog) and a bucket of ice. She shoves the dog as far into her cunt as she can get it. Usually the only thing left out is its tail. Then, she takes ice cubes and starts shoving them up the dogs ass hole and making the dog shiver. The thing starts shaking like a vibrator run on a car battery! While my daughter is getting closer to orgasm with her doggy dildo, my wife is licking the cum out of grandma's ass, I'm blowing my dad while he's giving my son a handjob and fisting my wife's freshly stitched cunt. Right about the time that we're all about to cum, my daughter reaches orgasm and starts shitting chocolate pudding all over the stage. Again, the first three or four rows are covered in the mess, we all start sliding around in the mix of blood, chocolate pudding shit and cum, until we all fall onto the floor and land to form the Chinese character for 'titty fucking', and the dog shoots out of my daughter's pussy and explodes over the audience like a fourth of July firework."

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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