Randall McRandall's "Fun for all the family" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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The father walks towards a CD player and hits play, an as the soothing music of Mozart fills the room, the duaghter pickes up the dog and places the dogs cock into her mouth, and starts sucking. Meanwhile, the father has jumped onto the son and started fucking him in the ass. The mother gets down on her hands and knees and besins likcking her daughters vagina, and the daughter begins to orgasm and in a fit of heat, chomps down on the dogs dick, biting it off.
Blood begins to spray everywhere, and so the farther stops assfucking his son for a minute and beins licking the blood of the agents face. The son, now without a dick in his shithole, spear-tackles his sister and, with her now lying on her back, begins to shit all over her face. After he finishes, he strips her naked and begins bashing her sensless with a chair. After his sister is fully unconscious, he begins to rape her, then, after his climax, removes a knife from his belt and slashes her throat. The mother meanwhile, pulls her newborn baby out of the pram she placed in the corner and throws against the door where they came in. The father catches it on the rebound, douses the dead baby in gasoline, and sets it on fire. After the remains are fairly charred, he pulls out a knife and fork and begins to eat it. When there are only bones remaining, he opens a small childproof bottle and consumes a large number of ecstasy pills. After taking all the pills, the father grabs his son, and forces the kids cock into his throat, forcing himself to throw up. The mother grabs the remaining family members and thrown them onto the floor, which is now covered in vomit. The two males them take turns to masturbate all over eachother, before the father begins fucking the mother from behind. The son then joins in from the front, and they bth continue until they cum. The father then pulls out a shotgun and blows his son's head off, before forcing the barrel up the mothers cunt and firing, killing her. The father then runs towards the agent, and begins sucking him off. After the agent cums, the father then takes a shit in the middle of the office, and begins to eat it, while cutting off his fingers. After a large pool of blood starts to congeal at the fathers feet, he stands up and takes a bow.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"