RCE's "Elephant Cum and Fun with Fucking Towers" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
liked this joke
|Rate This Joke|
First, I walk out on stage in a tuxedo
i start to strip off my tux and get completely naked
I put my arms up and take a bow
to the audience
My wife comes out, she’s wearing a sequin bra and panties with a peacock feather hat
She bends down and starts sucking my cock
She keeps going till my cock gets 13 inches long and 7 inches around, im hung like a horse
So she’s sucking my cock, when junior comes flying in on a trapeze from the side stage
My wife stops sucking my rock hard cock just as my son lets go of the trapeze and does a double back flip landing on my cock
He jumps off and strips off his Tarzan outfit and climbs up on my shoulders
My wife bends over in front of me and wiggles her tight cunt on to my cock
My son starts jacking off while on my shoulders till his cock gets big and hard, its about the same size as mine...like father like son, ya know
I bend upward, lifting my wife up into the air while she’s hanging on to my cock with her cunt
My father wheels a cannon on to the stage and lights the wick
The cannon shoots off and out comes my 9 year old daughter
She’s completely naked
She shoots through the air and mouth first impales herself on my son’s hard cock
He grabs her by the legs and starts spinning her around on his cock
So my wife is also a contortionist and she bends herself around while balanced on my cock with her cunt, and starts licking my balls
So now my daughter is spinning mouth first on my sons cock, and he’s standing on my shoulders, while my wife is balanced on my cock and is bent around licking my balls
Well, my dad, grandpa, comes out in a leather Speedo and takes out his teeth and throws them at the audience
He then unrolls his 9 inch tongue and tears off my wife’s sequin panties and starts eating her out
Well then grandma comes out on a skateboard wearing a dildo and is carrying a trampoline
She throws the trampoline into the air and it hits the ground
She jumps off the skateboard and onto the trampoline up into the air and lands perfectly in my daughter’s pussy with the dildo
I hold up her legs with my hands to keep her balanced
Next I call out Elmer the family dog
He’s a bull mastiff and he runs out and jumps through the hoop that’s created with grandma me my daughter and my son
Now me and my son are just about done when I throw grandma out of my daughter and onto the stage, where the dog starts fucking her in her wrinkled up old pussy
My son blows his load like a fire hose and shoots off my daughter, she’s covered in cum and does a back flip onto the stage
My grandfather stops licking my wife’s pussy and starts licking the dogs ass
my wife puts her feet on my thighs and jumps from my cock into a headstand and my son leaps from my shoulders and dives head first into my wife’s cunt
My daughter sits on my grandfathers back so the dog can lick the cum off her, and i get trombone from off stage and stick it in my ass, and start playing when the saints go marching in
While doing that I start sucking my sons flaccid cum soaked cock to get it hard again and my wife contorts herself to suck on my cock, all the while my son is head first in her pussy and l=kicking his legs in the air to my ass music
My daughter goes off stage and brings out Manny the elephant and she starts jacking him off, and he has a harmonica in his trunk and is playing in tune with me
My daughter leads Manny over to grandma and grandpa and the dog, and cums all over them
She cuts him off mid cum and leads him over to us and lets him cum all over us
So there we are covered in elephant cum we all start sliding around all over the stage and get into one great big circle fuck
I’m fucking the dog, the dog is fucking my daughter, she’s licking my wife’s pussy, my wife is sucking grandpas cock, grandpa is sucking my sons cock, my son is eating out grandmas pussy, grandma is licking my balls, I’m playing the trombone with my ass the song is the theme to 2001 space odyssey, the elephant is standing in the middle on his hind legs, he’s playing the harmonica to the same tune, and his giant dick is waving an American flag that my daughter stuck in his cock hole
We my family all stops just as I’m getting to the last part of the song, they all pull out their butt plugs and face the audience
They shoot out this runny corn and peanut filled streams of diarrhea shit into the air like water fountain in unison, and spray it all over each other, and as I’m playing the final note, they turn toward the audience and let out this giant farty blast of shit all over the first 4 rows. We all stand up and take a bow.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"