Tom Butters's "My gran wears crutchless underwear" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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The man grabs his 5 year old son, rips off one of his middle finger, shoves it up his own arse, lays his 8 year old daughter on the ground, spreads her legs and farts his sons finger, nuckle deep into her virgin pussy. with the excitement of this, the mans preganant wife starts having contractions and goes into labour, the man shoves his arm straight up her cunt elbow deep and pulls out his new born son, he whistles for the family dog fido to come lick him clean and eat the unbilical cord, then with out hesitation, grabs the babies ankles in one hand and neck in the other and rips its head clean off, he shoves the babies freshly decapitated head over his own cock and starts fucking his wife with it, while the daughter tries to suck the cock of her dead baby brother and fido fucks her in the arse with his 4 inch german sheppard cock. The son sitting in the background has just filled up a champagne bottle with dhiarea, he puts his thumb over the top of the bottle and starts squirting it over is family rubbing it into his mothers perky tits... at this point the 90 year grandmother walks in wearing crouchless underwear, puts one leg up on the stool and starts vigourously rubbing her clit until she ejaculates all over her family... With a big "da da" the whole family stops, sweating, covered in shit, cum and blood and looks up at the the talent agent..
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"