Philip Norvell's "Weapons of Mass Defecation" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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The father says "thank you kind sir....here it is... First I come out on stage with my beautiful son Gerald; we begin the act by pulling our pants down. We lay with our backs on the floor and piss strait up into the air like a fountain you would see in Vegas. Of course to do this we will need some stimulation to keep our penises erect. So my wife Angie comes and sucks me off, getting me good and hard while Gerald’s younger sister Pam warms her brother up. Soon after we begin our wonderful fountain of piss Angie joins in by taking her shirt off and milking her tits all over her daughters face. This will need some cleaning up so our family dog Skippy joins in by lapping up the piss that has fallen on the floor. This of course leaves Skippy wide open for my papi Doogle to give him some anal abuse. While Doogle is ramming Skippy I go over and start to fuck my wife while watching Pam make out with grandma. To help papi out with the dog, Gerald comes over and shits all over the dog’s ass to help out with the lubrication. When grandma and Pam see Gerald shit all over Skippy they start to get nauseous and decide to make the best of it. My daughter comes up to me and starts to kiss me while vomiting in my mouth. I swallow the tasty concoction, pull out, and blow my load all over Angie's face. Grandma on the other hand pukes on the floor, lays down in her vomit, and begins to make a modified version of the snow angel. To add color to the vomit, shit, and piss on the floor, Gerald cuts himself on the wrist and tries his best to milk the blood out of his veins. But through all this excitement papi has a massive heart attack and keels over, still with his penis fully erect from the anal hemorrhaging on the dog. Taking advantage of this situation, Skippy, with blood dripping out of his ass, waddles over to papi and bites his dick off. Skippy takes the decapitated penis and writes his name with the bloody shaft on the stage." then for the big finish, "we all stand up (except for poor Doogle), Gerald and I stand side by side and lift up grandma and Angie above our heads, and Pam sits below Gerald and I holding our dick's while grandma and Angie shit on our necks and heads. Creating a pyramid of mass defecation."
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"