David Berry's "the greatest rendition ever" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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Well first the father takes the dog and starts to lube him up with some grape jelly as the daughter comes out stage left with a dildo strapped on and her brother's finger in her ass. As she enters the mother comes out with a turbin on and holding a wooden spoon in her mouth. she then begins to fuck her husband in the ass with the wooden spoon as the daughter is teabagging him profusely. mean while the brother dislodges his finger from sisters asshole and begins sucking off the dog while dad is fucking him in the ass. mom then gets up and begins shitting on the middle of the stage while sister follows closely behind and licks it up as fast as she can. dad then cums all in brothers asshole then begins pissing and shitting all over the son. mother then stops shitting and proceeds to smear all the shit and piss all over the son while father gets his asshole eaten by the daughter who now has the dogs snout shoved in her vagina. for the grand finally dad starts to earfuck the brother while the sister shoves her whole arm into the mothers asshole while she sucks off the brother. then the whole family stands to attention and bows while urinating in order of height.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"