chronic kid's "that is the show" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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Okay. The- this family walks into a talent agency. It's a mother, father, their son and daughter, and a little baby. The father says to the talent agent, "Sir, our family has an amazing act. We know if you would let us perform it for you you would want to sign us." And the talent agent says, "Sorry, we don't sign family acts. They're too cutesy." But then the mother goes, "Please, sir, if you just give us two minutes, we know you'll like our act." So the talent agent says, "All right, you've got two minutes." The family jumps right into it. The mother smiles and points to the son, who hits "Play" on a boombox. Thrilling circus music starts to play as the father spins his daughter around, bends her over, lifts up her skirts and starts licking her asshole. Then the son lays down on the floor and opens his mouth, and the mother tears off tear-away pants, squats down over his face and starts shitting all over him.
Hold on! Hold on. The father grabs the baby, takes off his diaper and starts sucking his cock, right? While the som, still with his mother's shit in his mouth, goes over and licks the baby's tiny little balls.
Now the mother lays down on her back on the floor while the daughter gets up high on a chair and starts pissing all over. Then the father and son take the baby and start stuffing it head-first back into the mother's vagina, while the daughter's piss rains down on all of them.
They get the- towait. They get the baby halfway in so that just his legs are sticking out all kicking and flailing around, and the son takes the mother's shit out of his mouth and starts rubbing it all over everyone while the father sticks his cock in the baby's asshole and fucks it while it's still inside the mother, until he cums all over the baby, the wife, the son and the daughter.
Will you hold on, please! Then the father gets up and says, "And now for our impersonation of the victims of 9/11." And the whole family starts running around screaming and laughing with their dicks and tittles all flapping around, covered with piss and shit and cum, goin' [falsetto] "AAAAAaaAAAAhhh! AAAAAaaAAAAhhh!, the building's comin' down! Heeelllppp!!!" [normal] And finally the family runs back to the center of the room and goes, "TADAAA!!" And the talent agent, he just sits there for the longest time, and finally he says, "...Jesus, that's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "the Aristocrats!"
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"