Sliteeva Duchnella Twatlova's "Audience Participation" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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We all enter the stage together...my wife who has had both her tits cut off, my epileptic daughter and my serial killer wannabe son. The daughter immediately begins to convulse and to vomit blood. She sprays the first 2 rows of the audience from left to right. My son then aims his crusty asshole at the center row and ejects the most putrid projectile diarrhea into the mouths of the screaming audience.
We wait a few minutes to let the shock and horror of what just occurred to sink in. The audience is now scared shitless and is expecting more abuse to be hurled their way. Instead my wife starts reading from the Bible and reminding them that salvation through JC is their only hope for redemption.
I dig into my nose and pull out long stringy boogers that I begin to eat slowly...munching on each one and describing their taste and texture in gastronomical terms.
My son has chronic gonorhea and can squeeze buckets of green infectious pus out of his deformed cock on demand. He proceeds to milk his infected tool and flings the contents into the balcony level of the audience. This always lead to mass hysteria and screaming which usually reults in more vomit coming from the balcony onto the heads of the mezzanie and orchestra sections.
When the audience is at a fever pitch my wife inserts a sand papered dildo into my anus and we all sing Onward Christian Soldiers while my son pulls out an rifle and shoots as many audience members as he can before the cutain lowers
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"