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gashomungus's "mammy cleans the lot" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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The father punches his wife in the face and forces her to her knees, The son taking his cue gets on all fours in front of his mother drops his trousers and she starts licking his arsehole and pulling his foreskin, The father meanwhile strips his daughter turns her into a upside down handstand and shoves his cock in her arse. The son whistles and a small dog runs onto stage and gets under the son. His mother pushes her sons cock into the dog.
The mother gets up, strips and lays down in front the son and dog and starts pissing. The dog starts licking the mothers pussy while she pisses.
The father pushes his hand into his daughters pussy and pulls out his blood covered hand and starts fingering his own arsehole while he holds her upside down with one hand and fucks her in the arse.
a large black woman dressed as a maid comes out with a feather duster and starts cleaning around the scene as they all fuck each other.
The father pushes his daughter off his dick, drops her onto all fours stands in front of her and pisses into her face.
The son gets off the floor picking the dog up, pulls it off his dick turns it round and starts sucking it's dick while fingering it's bleeding arse. The mother gets up squats and takes a dump on the floor. The maid gets on the floor with a bucket and sponge and starts cleaning at the mess. The daughter jumps up and sits on the maids back and slaps her arse while singing "rolling on the river". The father starts wanking over his daughters face with his foot on the maids neck screaming, "know your place I'm the masser here mammy". The dog Comes in the sons mouth, yelps, jumps onto the floor and starts licking at the mothers shit. The son walks over to his mother shoves his cock in her mouth and fucks her mouth till he comes. The mum turns to the father spits blood and cum on his face and vomits on the floor. The daughter sticks her hand in her bloody pussy and slaps her fathers cock while he comes on her and the maids back. They all shit in front of the maid, who cleans up the floor. Gets another bucket and cleans the family while they sing "amazing grace"
They get dressed, Spit at the maid who walks out graciously and sit in front of the agent and smile serenely like nothing ever happened.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
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