Cuntface's "rancid preteen pussy mangling + bestiality" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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The father lights a cigarette and clears his throat. "Well first of all..."
"Daddy? Can I have a smoke?" Says the daughter, excitedly. She's been smoking for nine years. At the ripe old age of twelve, she's also addicted to smack, crack and PCP. She's had three miscarriages and a stillbirth, too... but that's another story.
"Wait a fucking minute," Sighs the father, giving her a vicious backhander in the face. "First of all, we all come on stage..." He gestures flamboyantly to show them appearing onstage. "And it starts like this..."
The whole family bow. The agent yawns loudly. The father looks a little peeved and takes his frustration out on the dog, kicking it firmly in it's ravaged, louse-ridden balls. The first member of the family to come forward is the daughter, wearing a beautiful white virginal dress. The father kicks the dog again. "Go runty!" Shouts the son. The dog, a huge doberman mastiff, leaps on the young girl and tears off her dress. She screams and bucks under it's massive weight, but it slides down her body, licking her tiny tennis-ball breasts, tracing a line of spittle down to her bald pre-teen cunt. She moans and groans and gasps as it licks her out then screams as it bites her the first time. It buries it's teeth in her little cunt, shaking it's powerful jaws from side to side and showering the girl with her own blood. The son steps forward and unzips his fly to piss all over the girl, whose cries of pain turn to those of ecstasy. The dog scampers away, swallowing an ovary and a good portion of the girl's clitoris. Her ravaged cunt oozes blood all over the floor as she slides along it to position herself under her brother's stream of piss. Finally, he finishes and gives his tiny penis a good shake, making sure every drop finds it's way onto his sister. her tight body glisten from the golden shower she's just endured. she splutters. once. twice. three times. the father comes forward, yanks her to her knees and sticks his ten-inch cock in her little mouth. she sucks dick like a pro, as you would too if you'd grown up as an imported sex slave before you were bought by a family of weirdos.
the father comes after seemingly no time at all and the mother picks up her daughter. the girl spits her mouthful of cum into her mothers mouth, before they start making out like lovers. the son, meanwhile, sticks his finger, then his thumb, then his whole fist in his sisters ass. he gets it in up to the elbbow without lubrication, though it is quite a battle. he pulls his hand back out, letting the mix of shit and blood follow it. he licks his fingers like they're covered in strawberry-chocolate ice cream. who knows? maybe they are. that girl's had a lot of things up her ass. sometimes she hides the TV remote up there. the mother strips off all her clothes and squats on her husbands dick in the cowgirl position. she bounces on it for a good three minutes before he nearly passes out from the effort. she stands up, cum already flowing out of her and squats on her pre-pubescent son's face. he licks her vagina and swallows every drop. meanwhile, the daughter has found the talent agent's stash of heroin and is cooking some up.
the dog is rolling around in the slick of shit and blood that covers nearly all of the fine carpet. just then, it starts to feel labour pains and a whole litter of retarded albino puppies fall out of it a moment later. not wasting any time, the dog vomits on the puppies, providing them with the warmth and comfort they'll need to survive for more than five minutes.
the daughter is passed out, the needle still stuck in her arm. stupidly, she has just overdosed on heroin laced with airplane glue. the dog and her retarded puppies start to strip the meat from her bones like a mechanic stripping a car for scrap. the best meat's in the tits, just so you know. the eyes are good, too.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special guest... my daughter's stillborn child!!!" the father hollers, clapping. seemingly from nowhere, his wife produces a dead baby, it's face frozen in that first second of cruel life. the father takes the baby, breaks both it's legs and sticks his dick in it's ass. he fucks it till it split open, dribbling baby blood, guts and brains all over the floor.
"that's never happened before," he muses disappointed,before casting the dead doll aside.
"I guess we'll have to dig grandma up for next time..." he says to himself, before pulling a knife ou of his pocket and slitting his wife's throat. he forces her to her knees and sticks his throbbing, filthy, herpes infected dick in the wound. he fucks her opened throat, sending sprays of blood all over the place. blood flows down, over her saggy, middle-aged, liver-spotted tits and mixes in with the pussyjuice freely flowing from her hirsute pussy with oversized, ragged edged labia.
the son, squatting between his mother's spread legs, laps up the mixture until his father drops the knife straight on his head, killing him instantly and splitting his head in half. the two pieces fall away, the tongue waggling in two opposite directions. the father, looking pleased, strips naked, cuts a hole in his wife from groin to sternum and shits inside her chest cavity. then he lies down and makes a blood angel onthe carpet...
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"