Tarah's "Father teaches his son a valuable lesson" Aristocrats Joke

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

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So a Dad and his son walk into a talent agency... They tell the agent that they have the perfect father son act, where the father teaches his son a valuable lesson. The agent tells the Dad that he doesn't need another wholesome family act. The Dad says to the agent please just lets us tell you what the act is before you decide. So the agent agrees and lets the Father and son act it out in front of him...

So its starts off with the Father and 10 year old son sitting on the couch. The Dad looks at the son and says " Son pretty soon you will be getting to the age when you become interested in girls, so I am going to teach you the do's and don't." Alright first son comes the kiss. Now if it is a first date it must be a closed mouth kiss. So he turns to his 10 year old son and gives him a soft kiss on the lips. Now if it is a second date you can use your tongue. So he turns to his son and gives him a kiss and slowly rolls his tongue in his.

He takes his son into the kitchen and says " Now if you are lucky son you will find a girl that will go down on you on the third date." So in the middle of the kitchen he pulls his 10 years old son pants down. Kneels before him and starts sucking his sons cock. The son is really enjoying it and starts moving his dads head deeper and deeper onto his young throbbing cock The son shoots a huge load into his dad's mouth. And the dad mumbles with his sons cum in his mouth, " son if you are really lucky you will find a girl that swallows". So the dad swallows his 10 year old son's cum down his throat. And now son you may want to go down on a girl. And seeing that I don't have a pussy you can practice on my ass hole. So the dad turns around on his knees. And the son kneels behind him. The son spreads his dads ass. And continues to lick his dad's ass hole. The Dad tells the son that it is important to be able to use your hands and your mouth at the same time. He tells his son to grab in front of him and continue jacking him off will licking his ass hole. He says son " what you are doing now is called a rusty trombone". He tells his son, that when he gets older he might find himself being attracted to other guys. So he turns around and stands up facing his son. He tells his son to suck his case he needs to know how to please a man. So the son starts sucking his dads dick. The dad likes it so much, that he starts to wish he could suck himself off. So he moves his 10 year old son off this cock, and walks over to the kitchen drawer. Inside of it he grabs out a knife. He takes the knife and cuts of his own dick. He takes his dick and starts to suck it. Now with out his father not even asking the son starts to fuck his dad in the whole where his dick used to be. There is blood everywhere. And the son continues to fuck his dad in the hole where his dick used to be. Now the dad is enjoying his son fucking him so much he accidentally bites down on his own cock. He likes the taste of his own cock so much that he continues to devour the entire thing. The son is still fucking his dad...the dad asks his son to start playing with his balls, that are now just hanging there loosely drenched in his own blood. The son starts to play and squeeze his dads balls. Than the pieces of chewed dick start to grow inside of his stomach. His dick pieces become bigger and bigger and soon becomes to big for his stomach to handle. The dad throws up his chewed up boner right onto his son... The son starts to eat and swallow his dad's throw up. And when the son is finally finished swallowing the whole mess of puke and chewed up boner he turns around. He presses his ass up against the dad's hole where his dick used to be. The son shits out the chewed up boner back into the hole where his dads dick used to be. Than the dad turns his son around and starts fucking his son in the ass with his bloody, shitty, chewed up, stomach acid induced dick. The dad starts to get tired and pulls out slowly outta his 10 year old son's tight ass. And says son " This was a very good start, and I am very proud of you. We will continue our lesson tomorrow when I get outta work."

So the very next day, when the dad is on his way home for work, he stops by a nearby elementary school that is on his way. He walks over to the playground, and when no one is looking he grabs a retarded 7 year old girl. He figures if his son is really going to learn how to treat a lady he is going to have to practice on the real thing. So he grabbed a retarded girl, because he figures she isn't going to say anything, and if she does no one will believe her because she fucking retarded.

And right as the dad is pulling into the driveway he notices a lost dog. He figures his son is old enough now to have his own dog. So he takes the dog into the house to later give to his son as a present.

So when the dad gets into the house, he lays the retarded girl down on the couch, and tells her to take a nap. So once the son gets home from school, the girl will be well rested and waiting for his son on the couch. So it's 2 o'clock now and the son walks from school home. When the son walks into the house he sees his dad and the young 7 year old girl waiting for him on the couch. His dad quickly tells his son to come sit down, because it is time to finish the rest of there lesson. So the son, quickly takes off his clothes and sits between his dad and the retarded girl. The retarded girl starts to mumble something, but no one can understand what she is saying because she is fucking retarded. So the dad gets off the couch and lays the retarded girl down and starts to pull up her dress and takes off her panties. The retarded girl is squirming and screaming so the dad holds her down at the shoulders, and sticks one of his son's little ty beanie baby into her mouth. The Dad tells his son, okay son this is on the forth date if you are lucky and she decides to give you her flower. So the 10 year old son sticks his cock into the retarded 7 year old's cunt, and starts fucking going at it. The retarded girl is now squirming more and more trying to get away. The Dad tells his son, most likely the first time the girl won't be enjoying it this much So he has to settle her down. So he takes on of his son's baseball bats that is laying around the house. The dad slams the retarded girl right in the chest with the steel bat. Now that the retarded girl is more calm it is much more realistic. So the son continues to fuck the retarded 7 year old girl. And the Dad turns to the son and say son, now if you are really will find a girl that squirts when she cums. So the Dad starts to hit the retarded girl over her head repeatedly. There is blood flying everywhere... The blood is flying onto the sons face... and the son starts to lick the blood near his mouth. Not realizing how hard the dad is hitting the 7 year old retarded girl....her body starts to tighten up in rigor mortis. The dad uses this as a chance to teach his son. He tells his son that if he is really lucky he will be able to fuck a lot of virgins. He tells his son that when a body goes into rigor mortis it is about the tightest pussy out there. The son looks at his dad and tells his dad that the body is starting to feel cold, and it is making him soft. So the dad says okay son if you ever get really desperate and you can't find a girl to fuck, you can always fuck a dead cunt. So he tells his son one trick is to pull out and piss on the dead 7 year old retarded girls body. He tells his son that his piss will keep the body warm enough to finish fucking her. Than he turns to his son and tells him " son if you are really lucky you will find a girl that will let you pull out and cum on her face" So when the 10 year old son is about to cum. He pulls out and starts to jack off on the dead retarded girls face. Than the dad says to his son " son you aren't probably going to find a live girl that will let you shit in her you should probably do it now, because I don't think she is going to mind now that she is dead" So the son climbs up the stiff cold body of the retarded girl and spreads his ass over the dead girls open deceased mouth. He pushes and takes a big shit into her mouth.

Soon after the son takes a big shit into the dead girls mouth....the dog runs out from the kitchen. The dad tells his son....since he has been really good and so responsible that he is now old enough to own his own dog. The son is so happy that he runs over to the dog and starts petting him behind his ear. Not soon after the dog can smell the shit that the son took into the dead girls mouth. So the dog runs over, jumps up onto the dead, cold, rotting body and starts to eat the shit right outta her mouth. Now soon after the dog starts to get sick and is throwing up on the carpet. The dog isn't used to eating anyone else's shit but his there is a lot of throw up all over the carpet. Now the Dad looks to his son and tells him that the lesson was going to be over, but this might be a good opportunity to learn from. He tells his son, when you get old enough to drink in the always look for the girl that is the most drunk. He tells his son don't look for the girl dancing with her friends and taking shots, because she isn't drunk enough. He tells his son to look for the girl that can't keep her head up and is barely staying on the stool, while she is having drunken conversations with herself and laughing. He says son that is the type of girl you want to bring home. The son asks why do I want to bring a drunken crazy girl home. The dad tells him...because they are most likely to throw up. And the rule is if someone throws up in your house you get to fuck them. So the son looks at the throw up on the floor and than looks at the dog and starts to fuck the dog in the ass. Than all the sudden the Dad remembers something he learned in the navy. He tells his son to pull his dick outta the dogs ass and to listen, for he is going to give him the single most valuable piece of advice he will ever learn. He looks to his son and asks him...son you like peanut butter right? The son says of course I love peanut butter. Well the dad says Its been in my experience that almost everything loves peanut butter. So he says if you are really fucking horny and don't want to go out find a drunk or a dead can always stay home and put peanut butter on your fucking cock. And if you do that the dog will come over and start licking your dick, balls, asshole....where ever you put the peanut butter the dog will like it off. So the son goes into the kitchen and grabs the peanut butter. He spreads the chunky monkey all over his junk down into his asshole...and sure enough the dog comes over and starts licking the young 10 year old cock and asshole.

Than the Dad turns to the agent and tells peanut butter stuck to your mouth, it's a sure fire act. And the Dad and Son stand in the middle of the stage and take a bow.

The agent looks at the Dad and says, sir that is quite an act...I don't think I've ever seen a show like that...I think people of all ages will love it.

So the agent says What the hell do you call your act anyway?

The Dad says we call ourselves....


For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"


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