Very Fine Hat's "Mad Libs" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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They each [verb] their [plural noun] and begin to [verb] as the mother [noisy bodily function] to the tune of [song]. The son, who suffers from [degenerative condition], becomes [adjective] and [verb] all over the [noun]. This causes the mother to [verb] on the floor], her [appendage] landing [joint]-deep in her husband's [orifice]. The [adjective] dog jumps up and [verb]onto the father's [extremity]. The son, who likes to pretend he is a/an [animal], starts to [verb] with the dog over the father's [same extremity]. The [age]-year-old daughter, who became pregnant with the [narcotic]-addicted baby of [respected celebrity] after a wild night of [taboo], decides to imitate a/an [race], so she [verb] into her [noun] and [verb] the [noun] all over her [noun], making [animal] noises. The mother is [adjective] in her husband's [orifice], so she removes a/an [adjective] [sharp object] from her [noun] and [verb] off her [appendage] at the [noun]. As she begins to [verb] to death, she realizes she needs a [noun], so she [verb] into the daughter's [orifice], [verb] out the [adjective] baby, and uses its [noun] as a [noun]. The baby is a [race], so it starts to [verb] and it [verb] its [noun] at the dog. The dog gets [adjective], so it runs over and starts to [verb] the baby. Because the dog's [body part] is the size of a/an [animal], it comes out the top of the baby's soft [body part] like a small [traditional Moroccan hat]. The father [adverb] [verb] around, so the [property of physics] sends the son flying with his father's [extremity] still in his [noun], and he hits a [noun], showering his [plural noun] all over his family. The daughter caches the son's [body part], and [adverb] [verb] it in and out of the father's [orifice], until the severed [same body part as above] [verb] into the father's [internal organ]. The mother [verb], because [race] men stole the [noun] she was using as a/an [noun] to [verb] to their [plural noun]. The daughter [verb] her mother's [fluid] until she [verb] to death. The father picks up the dog, with the [adjective] baby still attached, and he shoves the dog onto his [body part] and spins it like a [noun], and [verb] around the room like a [noun], and shouts, "taa-daa!"
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"