Louie Heifetz's "The Sunbeam Christian Hour" Aristocrats Joke

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

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A guy walks into a talent agency, only minutes before it closes.

"Hey, you want to see my family's act?" he asks.

"Well, we're closing pretty soon, so make it quick."

"All right, here's how it goes," he says.

"First, I come out and then stand on my hands. My son then comes out and cuts my pants off with a butter knife. I'm not wearing any underwear, mind you. He's a strapping young lad, with pubic hair, but still younger than the legal age of consent, of course.

"He starts fucking me. Then, my grandmother comes out and starts sucking my cock. She takes the cum, uses her mouth like a pump to blow it up my son's ass. My wife then emerges, totally naked and covered in our cat's diarrhea, and felches my son. This causes a chain reaction that results in my son covering my wife's face in shit. She begins doing a blatantly racist blackface act. In reaction, my grandfather, who worked with the Civil Rights movement, comes out with an uzi and kills her, screaming 'Kill whitey!'

He hands the gun to my son, who then shoots himself. My grandmother takes the gun and mows down the audience. Finally, she shoots my dick off."

"Wow, that's quite an act," the agent says. "What's it called?"

"The Sunbeam Christian Hour."

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"


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