Andy's "bible mayhem" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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The dad takes out a Bible and opens it. The family gathers around to listen to him read it.
The dad turns to Genesis and reads the story of Noah's ark, the rest of the family is bored to tears, the dog is even bored. So the dad says, "Okay, I'll try another story from this book". The dad then reads 1 Timothy, chapter 2, which reads:
"But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." The mom says that that is too sexist for the children to hear, so the dad puts the Bible up and gets mad. The dad then pulls off the mom's pants and underwear, and begins to play with her pubic hairs. The dad then sticks his finger up her horny pussy and she has an orgasm to die for. After her orgasm the dad tells her that that will be her last and he slowly pulls off her clitoris. Then the dad goes to the little girl and licks and sucks on her little twat and she has her first orgasm. After that the dad goes to his son and opens his zipper, sticks his fingers in his pants and pulls out his penis. The dad pulls hard on his son's penis and it comes off with blood going everywhere. Then he takes the Bible and fucks it with his 8" dick.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"