Yahoo123's "Brutal raping and mutilation" Aristocrats Joke

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

liked this joke
Rate This Joke
Not Funny

The father unzipped his pants, revealing a massive erection. He attempted to grasp his young daughter's breasts, but she managed to run away. In a fit of rage, the father pulled out a gun from his back pocket and shot his daughter in the heels so she would stop running.

He then raced over to her, slipped off her panties, and lifted up her skirt. He spit into his hand and rubbed the saliva all over his daughters virgin cunt. He jerked off his throbbing penis for a few seconds in order to strengthen his erection before he thrust it into the crying and writhing girl. The further he plunged, the louder the girl shrieked.

Meanwhile, the son and mother stood on the other side of the room. The son ran over to his father, took his gun, and ran back to his mother. In one constant motion, the boy inserted the gun into the flapping opening of his mother's vagina, and pulled the trigger. Vaginal fluids and blood splattered all over the room, creating an unbearably fishy stench.

The boy started inserting his penis into his mother's gaping vaginal cave. Just then however, the father started severing off his daughters hands. The small hack saw he was using was extremely dull, so he had to work at it for a long time. With a quick swipe, the hack saw easily cut through the girl's layer of flesh. However, the father had to put his entire body weight onto the saw in order for it to grind at his daughter's bones. Finally after minutes of gut wrenching grinding noises and pints upon pints of blood slashed onto the floor, the father had completely sawed off the hands.

He passed the clenched hands to his son, who then shoved them into his mother's gaping vagina so hard, that her birth canal shattered, sending more vaginal pus and blood everywhere.

Their dog, who had been standing by quietly, finally decided to start rolling around in the pool of blood that had formed on the floor. Angered, the father ripped off a floorboard from the floor, and thrust it directly into the dog's jaw. The whimpering dog attempted to run away, but by that time, the entire family began ripping open its skull and stomach and gargled on its blood and innards.

The mother unraveled the dog's intestines and strangled herself with them, while the boy pointed the gun at his own head and blew a cavernous hole in his skull. The daughter who was already dying from massive blood loss, started gnawing off her feet until she just completely bled to death.

The father was the only one left.

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"


Search Jokes