kulbo's "butterflies, rainbows, and rotting corpses" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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Alteration-> It's a father, mother, 12 sons, 12 daughters, and a kitten.
"Well,” the father said. “Here we go.” He whistles for his wife who then assists his children in unloading a large crate from the back of a farming pick-up truck. Once the crate is on the ground before the talent agent, the mother releases the clasps holding the front side of the crate to the rest of the crate. The piece drops and out begins to waddle a 1000 pound man. Smiling, his father says, “this is my oldest son, Dick Wang.” The young man in his late teens smiles a toothy grin and begins caressing his oversized manhood, nearly 90% of his body weight. The appearance of the kid is that of a giant grub worm. His nut sack is the size of a beanbag chair, and his pubic hair thick like electric wire. Exhausted from having waddled a few feet, several of the children slide their fingers under his giant wang and lift as the man’s oldest son attempts to move completely out of the crate. “I’m not done; I’ve only begun,” the man prides himself on the boy he had procreated. “You see,” he notes as he points downward to his nearly non-existent crotch, “it took a nut and a half to make my boy into a man.” “My wife and I made love until my dick spewed out my first ball and half of the other through the tube.” “Help daddy,” some of the children scream, caught in the bristles of the oldest son’s giant dick. Without losing a beat, the mother takes the initiative and frees the young lads with hedge trimmers. “Remember your parts,” the father warns his kids “don’t make me look stupid.” “Okay pops,” several of his children chime with eager eyes. Running over to the oldest son, a dozen or so of the children slide up inside the young man’s penis. Tickling the inside, the oldest son begins to get an erection. The dick begins to swell, and the children begin to scream, caught and being compressed against the penis walls inside the dick. Like rocks striking the surface of water, the children pop with the same sound, and the outside of the penis ripples like the water. Blood from the unlucky children collects inside the tube and helps to achieve the largest erection yet, making the oldest son weigh in at around 2500 pounds. The man’s wife bends over and the children help to lift the very horizontal wang into the wife’s butt hole which immediately becomes one with the vagina. Moving to the wife’s side the children push back and forth on the woman until her head pops off and the boy’s dick head becomes her head. Grabbing the boy’s giant foreskin, the father and the children pull the skin back over the wife’s body, still attached to the son. The remaining living people (and the kitten of course) take a shit on the floor just as the oldest son ejaculates all over the floor in a mess of blood and semen. The disgusting look of the floor causes the daughters (even the younger girls not yet of age) to have periods all over the floor. Leaping into the bloody, shitty, and very white mess, the father begins to slurp it up along with his children. Covered, the man grabs the family pet, the kitten, and begins fucking it from behind. One of the father’s five year old daughters begins to service the pet while the kitty gives head to one of the younger sons. When all parties finish, the people back away as the kitten is drooling semen. The daughter begins to lick cum from the kitten’s asshole until the little girl vomits all over the floor. “Sweety you did so great,” the father smiles down at his little girl. Her brothers molest her up against the oldest brother’s deformed wang, and the father takes a bat and beats her head into the bile on the floor the girl had just puked up.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"