Kaufgerkhris's "The amazing bigoted satanic blood orgy" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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Okay, okay, so when we first get up on the stage, I'll be standing in the center of the stage with the spotlight on me. I'll take out three bowling pins and start juggling them. Then, my husband will come out and we will juggle them back and forth. After we've been juggling for a while, my 14 year old daughter and 10 year old son will run out in between of us and my daughter will begin catching the pins. My son will then pull of his pants and bend over. My daughter will then shove all three of the pins up his ass. My husband will then run over to me and tear off my clothes. He'll then begin fucking me and biting my breasts. My son will walk over to me and stick his cock in my mouth. My daughter will then shout " I hate niggers! " and run into the audience and grab a black person or any non-white person and bring them up to the stage. My husband will then stop biting my breasts and motion the audience member to come towards him. When the guy gets close enough, my husband will pull out a hand gun and shoot him in the head. He will then shoot a round into the mans chest. As the man drops to the ground, my husband will get up and walk over to the man. He will then begin fucking the hole in the man's chest. My son will get up and start digging through the hole in the man's head till he reaches the brain. He will rip the brain from the skull and begin to eat it. I'll walk over to my son and pull the pins from his ass. I'll then begin smashing in the dead man's crotch with a pin. My daughter will then take the gun from my husband and masturbate with it. I will then begin sucking the dead man's smashed up cock. Then, after my daughter climaxes, I'll stop sucking the man and she will shoot him in the crotch. After my son finishes eating the brain. He will signal my husband to get up from the dead man. He'll then begin sucking my son's cock. My daughter will signal to my 94 year old grandfather and my 86 year old grandmother in the audience. They will come up to the stage and immediately strip off their clothes. I will lay down on the floor and my grandfather will stand over me. He will then start jerking off. When he cums in my mouth, I'll stand up and then spit the cum into his mouth. When he swallows it, I will kick him in the balls and tell him to bend over. I'll then take the gun from my daughter and stick it up my grandfather's ass. I'll then fire the gun up his anus and kick him over. Then, my daughter will drag my dead grandfather's body over to my husband who is still sucking my son's cock. My husband will stop sucking my son's cock and signal to my grandmother to take the knife from my grandfather's coat pocket. She will then carve out my grandfather's insides and call out to an audience member to come to the stage. The audience member will come up to the stage and I will instruct him to dress up in a pope costume that we will have backstage. My daughter who will be bringing the pope costume out from backstage will also bring out our dog Sparky. After the audience member dresses up as the pope, my daughter will kill the dog with the knife. She will then stuff the dog into my grandfather's hallowed out body. My grandmother will then go get a hammer, nails and a huge wooden cross from backstage. She will then instruct the audience member to crucify my dead grandfathers body. After he does this, we will nail the cross upside down to the wall. We will then smear blood from the dead nigger all over ourselves and everyone will chant " Fuck Christ! Fuck Christ! " to the audience. We will then ask any children in the audience to come up to the stage. We will ask the children to line up, single file. We will take each child in line and strip their clothes of. We will carve a pentagram in each of the children's chests and carve inverted crosses in their wrists. We will then have sex will them all and when we are done we will set fire to their bodies. We will then line up and bow to the audience.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"