Sturtzonian's "Family Togetherness" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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So the dad, well, the first thing he does is make a standing broad jump from three feet away up onto the talent agent's desk. With one fluid motion, he undoes his braided belt and his courdurouys fall to the floor. The agent has just enough time to realize the dad hasn't been circumsized before the dad rolls back the thick, sloughy skin from his red vienna sausage, throws his head back, and with a low moan begins to piss all over the agents desk and face in a quick sweeping motion. The dad was still in the throws of an intense after-piss shiver when the mom, son, daughter and small dog all scrambled into a line behind the dad, still elevated on the desk. elevated dad on a desk. The mom was first in line. She took two skipping steps forward until her face was almost parrallell to dad's exposed ass cleft. The dad bends over, grabs his ankle with one hand, jams the four fingers of his other hand into his asshole, and pulls his rectum wide open. You can see the gum he swallowed when he was seven in there. Goddamnit, his mother told him not to swallow that fucking gum. Less than an instant later, a torent of colorful liquid shit sprays out from his gaping colon hole in a kind of fecal fourth of July fireqorks display. The mom licks her lip, shivers like a wet dog, and runs to the back of the line. The son approaches next, only backward. The son pulls his "Jams" shorts to the side and reveals his dingleberry covered brownie hole and the transluscent purple plastic dildo tube that is already halway stuck in it. The son jumps into the air (kind of a reverse standing broadjump, clearly a tribute to his dad) and with stunning accuracy, jams the protrusion into his dad's ass as well! They're stuck together like two retarded siamese twins, joined at the bungholio. The son lets himself slowly slide off of the purple dildo, his ass giving a startling loud ass quieff as he falls to the floor. He immediately begins to spin on his head like one of those coked up ghetto breakers while dad makes the dildo still embedded in his butt turn in quick circles as a striper would do with her nipple pasties. Next in line and stepping up quickly is the daughter. This daughter, she's fucking crazy. She lifts up her shirt to show off her shaved child like pussy, jumps up on to the desk, squats, and begins to quieff at the rate off about three times per second. She gives dad's ass dildo an enthusiastic mouth fucking while ramming her ring finger into her brown eyed willie. No sooner had the quieffing started than the little dog jumps up into the desk and begins to bark out "Ri Rove Roo" just like that talking dog from the little caesar's commercials. Half an instant later, the father jumps back off of the desk backawards, pulling the purple plastic out of his ass with a "Pop" reminiscent of Shirley Temple's finger to mouth sound effect in her classic song " Lollipop, Lollipop". The family quickly reforms into a line, throw out their hands, and yell "Tah Dah!"
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"