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Paul's "Wouldn't it be lovely" Aristocrats Joke

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

The father lines the rest of his family up in a straight line, facing the agent. The dog obediently runs out and sits in front of the father, in the centre of the line.

"Ready everyone?" says the father.
His family nods. "Ready!"

"Okay, on the count of three. One, two, three!"

The daughter and son quickly duck behind their parents, out of the agent's view. The parents start singing:

"All I want is a room somewhere,
Far away from the cold night air"

The children lean out from behind their parents backs, singing:

"With one enormous chair"

And as the family sing together, the children walk slowly out from behind their parents and kneel in front of them, facing the agent:

"Oh wouldn't it be lovely"

"Lovely," echo the children.

"Lovely," sings the husband, turning to face his wife.

"Lovely," she sings back, facing him.

"Lovely," they all conclude together, smiling beatifically.

The agent waits a second, watching their hands flutter to a stop, then yelling "What the hell was that!?"

"Wait!" says the father. "We're not finished - you'll miss the best bit!"

The family turns expectantly towards the dog. The tension builds. The dog stands slowly, first on all fours, then just on its hind legs.

"Rrroowwwrrreeee", it howls.

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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