Malibu Beach Bum's "A Take on the Old Time Variations." Aristocrats Joke

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

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So the father takes out a CD and puts it into a boombox on the floor, "of course", he says to the agent, "we have charts to cover accompaniment for everything from a three piece band to a full orchestra" he says as the New York Philharmonic playing "The William Tell Overture" begins.

The father now stands in "center stage", while the daughter comes dancing out. She twirls and stops in front of her dad and whips off her dress, revealing her garter belt, stockings and high heels.

Her dad reaches between her legs from behind with his left hand and while she continues to gyrate to the music he puts all his fingers up her twat.

Now the mom comes out and standing to her husbands right, facing the audience whips off her dress and shows herself to be attired the same as her daughter.

The mom then opens her husband’s fly and whips out his erect dick. She then turns back to the audience as her husband puts his right hand up her twat from behind. He then raises his daughter up to his left shoulder, she steps on his dick for support, where she stands still swaying with the music with his hand now fully up her twat. He then does the same with his wife on the right shoulder.

At this point the son and dog come out and are dancing around in front of them. The daughter then turns and squats over her dad's head and takes a humongous shit. The mom then takes her turn at doing the same thing.

The girl then turns and squats a little lower and pisses the shit off her father’s head and onto the floor. Her mom then does the same. They then jump off the dad's shoulders and skid with their high heels through the mess on the floor.
The daughter then bends over and her brother penetrates her anally while the dog humps the brother's ass.

The mom holds her husband's dick as he pees all over the "stage", and she then gets down on her knees in the shit and piss and starts blowing him.

At exactly this moment, a large Black woman, in an old-fashioned cleaning lady outfit, enters from stage left and in a loud voice declares "A-ha! I suspects you'all thinks I is gonna clean up this mess." She then looks at the wife and husband and says, “well lookee dat, I thinks I is gonna get me some ob dat." Whereupon she pulls the wife off her husbands dick and starts sucking it herself, while pulling up her dress and shoving the wife's head into her asshole.

The daughter, still getting bunged by her brother, whips a cell phone out of her stocking and calls the corner Deli, orders a ham on rye and tells the guy on the phone that if the delivery is made within a couple of minutes, she'll give the delivery boy $50.00 and he can keep the change.
While waiting for the delivery, she turns and sucks her brother's cock and the dog now goes and licks the mother’s asshole.

Within a couple of minutes there is a knock on the door. The daughter jumps up, leaving her brother to jack himself off, and opens the door. The deliveryman is a small Chinese guy. "Me bringee sandwhich real quick. You give me fifty dolla?”
"Sure honey, right here", she says as she pulls a $50 bill out of her stocking... and shoves it up her twat! She then unwraps the sandwich and shoves it up next. "OK honey" she says, "come and get it!!!"

She gets on the floor and spreads her legs. The delivery boy (whose name is Chang by the way) goes "oh boy me lik-ee this-ee" and gets right to it. In the meantime, the father, mother and maid have changed positions. The mother is on her back in the shit while her husband is fucking her profusely (whatever that means) the maid is squatting over the mom's head and the mom is eating her out.

The son has stuck his dick back in his sister's mouth while the dog is humping the deliveryboy's leg.

At once... as if on cue, the Chinaman jumps up and yells with glee "me have-ee money, oh boy fifty dolla" and runs out of the room. The brother comes on his sister's face, the dad pulls out and shoots his load on the maid while the maid comes and pisses on the mother.

The maid then says, "mmm mmmm dat sho beats dustin shelves!"

They all stand up and take a bow.

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"


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