Ryan Maglunob's "Shave and a Haircut" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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With a quick snap of his fingers, the father summons the dog into his arms. The daughter walks over holding a tray with a razor blade and a plastic tub on it. The father picks up the blade and begins to shave the dog. The whole time the son and daughter strip each other and proceed with what could only be described as "unnatural sex". The daughter sucks her brother's cock while jabbing one hand into her ass and another into his, which is quite an impressive display of multitasking. The mother stands and watches.
The father takes the freshly shaven dog's hair and drops it into the plastic tub. It is about this moment that he pulls down his pants and shaves himself with the razor. Once again, the hair is placed into the tub. The father puts the razor in his daughter's shit covered hand, and she immediately begins shaving her twat. In the meantime, the son grabs their hairless pup and begins blowing it while the father fucks it in the ass. The dog blows its load in the son's mouth, which immediately swallows and regurgitates it back on to the floor along with the other contents of his stomach. After shaving, the daughter throws the hair into the tub and pisses on her father and brother while the mother stands and watches.
She hands the razor over to her brother who begins shaving his ass and balls. The daughter then lies down and begins making "angels" in the piss and vomit covered floor. More hair goes into the tub, and the razor is discarded. The son then shits in his sister's mouth. She chews a bit and then jabs her tongue down her dad's throat. All four hairless beings (the father, the son, the daughter and the dog) begin rolling in the shit, piss and puke. They soon stop and point at the mother who is now applauding their efforts. An eerie aura enters the office as she then removes her panties revealing her ever so wet vagina; which looks wide enough to have once housed a football.
The dog grabs the tub with his mouth and brings it over to the mother. She grabs all the contents of the plastic tub and shoves it into her cunt. The son and father come over and double penetrate her vagina, thus packing in the shaved hair deep within her cavity. Just then, the lights go out. Everything is silent. A single spotlight appears showing the naked, shit, piss and vomit covered mother screaming in pain like she's just gone into labor. On a nearby drum, the daughter begins a drum roll. The mother then slowly but surely gives birth... to a bloody, fuzzy, hairy teddy bear.
"Taaaaaaaaa Daaaaaaa!!!" they scream.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"